How strange can normality sometimes be…You leave your life tethered to one place, one moral compass firmly rooted into the familiar, until a chance encounter makes us question everything we once held true. For me, that was you. I was so foolishly convinced, at nineteen-years old that I had seen and felt all I could ever need. Oh, what a disillusioned small-town mindset, where I would always describe myself as driven, outgoing, but in fact scared and unwilling to let go of what was holding me tied to that old grown oak tree in the backyard of my childhood’s house.
You were different from everything I had yet to discover, from your western life patterns, to your stark conviction that tough love would bring you further than any pampering and affection could do. You denied my need for constant reassurance and pushed me to care about myself first. You, with your wild mane of hair and black boots, your Italian 90’s aesthetic and your love of food. You were telling me I was too soft, but hugged me when my eyes would water…You, looking for yourself in the middle of the dutch coldness and italian elegance, somewhere in between rap music and jazz, and I, balancing out my balkan and latin, my home and always-at-a-distance self.
Amidst a backdrop of unfamiliar streets and faces, I found myself discovering a sense of belonging far from the confines of the town I called home for nearly two decades. As I tasted the flavors of the sea, shedding my preconceived notions of its rubbery texture, I came to understand that home need not be bound to a single location, but rather can exist both everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. And with this realization, a newfound sense of peace washed over me.
I find myself forever longing for the familiar scents of home – my grandmother’s kitchen and my mother’s fragrance. I smile at my brothers through the pixels of my phone and seek my father’s guidance through a digital realm. This is my new normal, and yet, through my words and my camera lens, I strive to capture the ongoing narrative of my journey – an Eastern European’s tale through the Western waters, searching for authenticity amidst a sea of mediated realities.